Monday, July 4, 2016

Curves and Rolls

So I watched Central Intelligence yesterday.

Though it was comedy cum action genre film but it was quite inspiring at some point. Dwayne Johnson used to be fat and he was bullied in the high school. But eventually, he trained hard for a solid body and became an CIA agent.

The question that I was pondering after the movie; is it wrong for being fat?

For me, being fat or overweight or obese is a health issue. You know, obesity is a risk factor for many non-communicable diseases such as hypertension,  diabetes, stroke, coronary heart diseases and the list goes on. With these health concerns, we have no choice to lose some weight to revert our body to healthy status quo.

Sadly, fat has a very bad connotation  for many people nowadays. Being fat or even slightly fat or gain a tiny little pound could mean end of the world. Let me share with you my personal experience of being fat.

The word "fat" had never crossed my mind until recent years. You should ask my friends who know me long enough how skinner I was back then. In fact, my neck was long and my face was really sharp and the V shape of my face was pretty obvious. I could eat everything in the world without any worries that I would be fat.

However, about two years ago, maybe my metabolism had gone haywire, I gained weight, tremendously.

I could not wear my paints and I could barely button my shirt. The word 'fat' was the first word that my friends would say when they met me.

At that moment, I wasn't that alarmed yet since I told myself that I just gained few pounds, still bearable. But as I kept on eating without any alert to my diet and the sedentary of my lifestyle, I became fat.

I accepted myself that I was being fat and I didn't live in denial. So what were the factors that drive me to lose weight?

Primarily, it was my health. I did my body check and the readings were not that positive. In fact, I was too young to have those readings. Since I didn't want to die young, so I made determination to lose weight.

Secondly, my self confidence was threaten. Well, I live in this superficial gay community here and this circle holds no room for fat being. They will shun you away and practically you have no values in this community. I know this sounds a little bit shallow but I determined to lose weight to gain my self confidence back and at least have some acceptance in this gay community. If they don't accept me, I can't help it actually, they just miss what I could offer.

It is not big accomplishment at least i lose few pounds and I manage to wear my old pants again. What is the secret? Eat as much that I want and hit the gym consistently. I'm proud that I'm determined to hit the gym like four/five times per week.

Yeah, I hit the gym but I don't have the solid and sexy body yet. I'm still flabby. What if I had those big arms, nice chest and six packs? Would it make a difference? Would I be noticeable in social media with more likes? Would the people that I used to crush on had feelings on me as well and accept me eventually?

Before I end my entry, two cents for the fat people out there. Set your mind that losing weight is not solely because of acceptance of the society. I know the society is pretty ugly with stereotyping but the underlying reason for you to lose weight is to address the health concern. Set your mind that you have so much to offer with your content of your character and not from your physical outlook. Being fat is not end of the world, you still perform the duty for your work and for your society as usual. Being fat will never lose the love from your family and friends. They still love you in your extra size.

And for the people out there who have nice body figure and who loves to expose the body in social media, I really want to know what could they offer or what are the intangible qualities they have aside from physical body? I know it is very shallow of me to say this but position your body as the sole item that you could offer, there is not much difference from being a fille de joie. You know how the gay community works, if one day you lose the nice physique of yours, you will lose the number of likes in your Facebook as well. They give you 'like' just for your body and not being who you truly are.

It's getting late, so here's the song for the people out there who are struggling with the physical outlook, always remember, you're not ugly, you're beautiful. It's society who is ugly.

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