As I reached his front door, my stomach was filled with butterflies. The waiting for him to open the door it was like a lifetime of waiting.
"You're here," he said.
Duh, I was waiting at the door. If weren't me, what else? Some spirit?
Though i was annoyed with the long waiting but once he flashed his smile, I could not stay mad at him anymore.
As he promised, there was in fact a plate of lasagna on dining table. It did look appetizing until I doubt that it was made by him. I supposed he bought from somewhere or ordered from Food Panda.
"There you go" as he handed the cutlery next to my serving before him. I really like people who pass me the cutlery before them, I find this small gesture is really caring.
As we adjourned to dinner, he started the conversation over the dining table with an apology. Apology didn't seem to vindicate him for being MIA recently. I can't reveal why he was missing in action but his reason seems legit.
"Alvin, do you want to take this friendship to another level? I wish we could be more than just friends," he said.
I was like shit, I wasn't ready for a relationship.
"Before you went to MIA, I know we were kinda happy or rather flirtatious with each other. But I never expect this flirting could turn into feeling and love. To answer your question, I really don't know. What you like about me? I don't have nice body and I'm not good looking either," I asked in a calm tone whereas my heartbeat was beating irregularly.
"I told you many many times. If I were looking for nice body or good looking guy, I would have been attached long time ago," he said.
"So you meant that I'm fat and ugly, that's why you wanted to be with me?," I interrupted.
"Yes, in a way. Of course no. You're just you. You are very comfortable of being you. And I'm very comfortable of being myself when I'm with you. I get jealous when you are mentioning other guys. I know I sound selfish and controlling but I just want to be a big part of your world. I want to know how your day was, what you have eaten...I just want to make sure you are alright. And I know you will do the same for me" he said.
"You know I had been in and out of love for many times. People whom I love would walk away from me eventually. I'm scared. I'm really scared. This love thingy will eventually end in disaster and disappointment. I'm really tired," I replied as I held back my tears.
"I had been through of what you have been through. Please forget your past. Let me assure you, I will compensate for everything you have missed or even mistreated by previous guys that you loved. I knowit ain't easy giving up your heart but I really like you," he said as he inched closer to me and held my both hands.
"I will never let you go. Right from the start, I know I have to make you mine," as he said with his teary eyes.
"Shall we, baby".....