Empty soul with a broken heart

It's like guilty pleasure when i see my friends' wedding photos in Facebook. It's either those photos melt my heart with awwww or it's harsh slap to wake me up "Dude, get a lover"

I know I'm not young and i always use the word 'career' to escape the topic of relationship/ settle down - whatever you call it.

You think i don't want to have a relationship?

Okay, let's assume that my workload is not that much and i have a drop dead gorgeous look and seductive body - why wouldn't I commit into a relationship or even to consider people around me?

Because i'm Taylor Swift. I like to try out with guys. I like to sleep around too hahaha...joking.

You may see me as a happy go lucky person who always like to poke fun but underneath the jovial personality hides an empty soul with a broken heart.

After those sad broke ups and  those heartless rejections, i don't think my heart is that open for a relationship just yet. I'm reserved and i'm scared.

Though i'm gay but it doesn't make any difference compared to a straight true man. I know i have to be tough enough to endure heartbreak and confident enough to embrace a new relationship. Maybe i don't have confidence enough to believe and hope my next relationship will work out. I don't  even think that i'm fit enough to love another person coz my life revolves around me only - nothing but Alvin.

So what if i tell you this that i want to explore the opportunies to minus out apart of me and fit in another person to be my signifacant other half?

I believe i told you that i met someone but it's too early to tell. So who is this unfortunate person?

Well, he's a pilot and flies around the globe.

Let him be Mr X in my blog. But let me share with you, he is very ugly he is very cute with his little dimples...awww..

Don't worry, i won't fall head over heels again and i know what i'm doing.If he rejects me, i'm gonna kill him i'm gonna receive his big no with open heart. Life goes on.

And apparently, he is sad over something.I just want to tell him this (yes, i copy from some song):

我不愿让你一个人, 一个人在人海浮沉